DatingDating Tips

Does he love me? 8 ways to find out his true feelings

Romantic relationships are tricky for most of us! Sometimes, we wonder what our partner is truly thinking. Women often ask themselves, how do I know if he really loves me? Is it just a casual relationship for them? Men do not verbally express themselves much. It gets frustrating sometimes. So what are certain signs that women can look for to understand the true feelings of their partner?

Does he love me or is he using me?

does he love me or is he using me

Relationships are like a two-way street. Both partners must put an effort to make it successful. But what if your partner is just in it to use you? He may take advantage of your money or feelings. He may not be serious in a long-term commitment. Here are signs he is just using you.

He isn’t open with you

Guys, in general, don’t open up much. But if you are that special someone they will let you in. If he is using you, he will not want an emotional attachment with you. He does not intend to be with you for long.

He doesn’t protect you

Men are naturally protective about the people they care about. So when he really loves a woman, he will protect her no matter what. But if a man doesn’t bother about this, it is time to start questioning – why does he love me? Is it for my money or my looks?

He ghosts you a lot

So, you are dating this guy for a couple of weeks now but he suddenly ghosts you. He does not even respond to calls or messages. A few weeks pass and he calls you out of the blue. You forgive him after he apologizes, and you both start dating again. But he repeats the same thing after a while. If this happens frequently, it is better to leave him rather than always wonder how do I know if he loves me? 

He avoids talking about the future

Any couple in a committed relationship has spoken about the future. A couple plans everything from the next vacation to the next five years. It may be as simple as where is the future of your relationship? But if you find him avoiding your questions, then it’s a red flag. The bitter reality may be that he is using you.

He is very blunt with you

Guys who try to impress their love interest avoid offending them. So if he is using, he doesn’t care about your feelings. He knows he won’t stay with you for long only until he can take advantage of you for long. So he will not hesitate while being blunt with you. Sometimes even hurting you in the process as there is no emotional investment from his end.

He won’t let you see his phone

We are all protective about our phone privacy. And that’s all right. But if your guy won’t part with his phone even for a second, it may be a sign of something fishy. A loyal person tends to be absent-minded and leave their phone anywhere. They don’t have the fear of hiding something from their partners. 

His communication is sporadic

Another major sign that he is using you is his communication style. Do you find him texting you when he needs money or sex? Does he ignore your texts or calls otherwise? If you are the one initiating conversations more often than him, then it’s time to rethink your relationship. It is pretty clear that he is taking advantage of your emotions for him.

He avoids you except to get physical

This one is pretty easy to figure out. Unless your dates promise sex afterward, he isn’t interested in spending time together. You can test this by asking him out to an event. Let him know you have plans with your girlfriends after the event. If he really loves you, he will happily come along. If he grumbles or makes excuses, it’s a clear sign he is in it only for the sex.

Such relationships can be toxic in the long term. Instead of wondering how do I know if he really loved me, it is better to get out of it. A man who really loved you will never keep you hanging. He will love you for who you are. Not your money and definitely not only for the sex. So break up if you see any of the above signs in your relationship.

Does he love me or like me?

couple close love like

Quite often, we can confuse simple like or deep love. If you have a close friend, you may always wonder if his actions mean he likes or loves you. How do I know if he really loves me? Maybe he is too shy to admit his feelings. Let’s see some signs that he only likes you: 

He doesn’t message much

We tend to message people we are pursuing more often. You both may be texting each other a lot. But are you the one initiating it most of the time. Does it feel like he is replying to be polite? Then maybe he only sees you as a friend and nothing more.

He talks to you about other girls

This is a major sign he likes you as a friend. He talks openly about his love life and sees you as one of the guys. He tells you about other girls he finds attractive or has a crush on.

He calls you dude or bro

When your best friend calls you ‘dude’ or ‘bro,’ you are one of the guys to him. It is a clear sign he has no feelings for you. If he sees you as a potential romantic interest, he may address you as ‘babe’ or ‘beautiful.’

You mostly message over group chats

You both always go out as a group for activities. Even while texting, you both communicate over groups and talk casual or funny stuff. There are no emotional or heart-to-heart conversations between you both.

He doesn’t flirt with you

Another clear sign he sees you only as a friend. He doesn’t cross the boundaries and get fresh with you. There are no flirty texts or conversations with him. He likes you as a good friend but not as a romantic interest. So he won’t think of acting that way.

He has never tried to make a move

You both have never had any intimate moments together. He has never confessed his true feelings to you. Perhaps in a moment of weakness. Then it could be that he just sees you as a friend. Then again, he may be a shy person as everyone is different. But even the shy ones manage to get their feelings across.

He tries to set you up

He might try to be your wingman or try to genuinely set you up. If he saw you romantically, there is no way he would do all this. He would try to set you up from your huge circle of friends. And probably lookout for people with real potential for you.

He doesn’t reciprocate

You may have definitely tried hinting at him in the past. Maybe by giving him suggestive looks or a touch. If he had feelings for you, he would have flirted back. But since he did not, you know he doesn’t feel the same way. He does not want to lead you on. This should be a good hint.

It is natural to have feelings for our best guy friends. It is even more heartbreaking when they don’t feel the same. So if you feel your crush doesn’t feel the same after reading the above points, it’s better to move on. You will find someone who loves you for who you are. Some other friends may already have feelings for you. But, you are too caught up with your best friend to notice.  

Does he love me or pity me?

couple bed touching hair

Sometimes, we get into rebound relationships. These can be toxic and based on pity. Since you were vulnerable at the time, he might have started dating you out of pity. Or he genuinely likes you. So how do you know which one it is?

Feel the relationship is forced

You both got together in a moment of weakness and it has lasted since. But you don’t feel a real connection with him. You both like different things and avoid talking to each other. But he won’t leave you out of pity; you will crash again.

He avoids spending time with you

Initially, he was there to help you through your weak moment. But now, being with you feels like a chore. He always puts off making plans with you. He may even ignore the plans you have made. He spends less time at home when you are around.

You don’t enjoy intimate moments together

Spending romantic moments together is tedious now. It is no longer exciting, but he still sticks around. He is afraid that if he leaves you, you will be alone. So he stays out of pity. This takes the spice out of your romantic relationships too.

He is talking about or is attracted to other women

You find that your partner is talking a lot about the new lady in the neighborhood. He has an eye on her every move. He isn’t concerned about what you think since he is bored anyway. He is only staying out of pity for you. It sometimes makes you think, why does he love me? It is time for you to break up and move on.

He is lying about meeting others

Your partner has come back home and you can smell the beer on his breath. But he tells you he was late working. You know he is lying but doesn’t want any fight with you. He may feel that you would not understand and feel bad. So he chooses not to tell you out of pity.

He is absentminded with you

Do you feel like your partner zones out while you are out on a date? It gets pretty frequent as time passes. You feel like he doesn’t pay attention to what you have to say. Your conversations are no longer interesting. But he still tries to participate so you won’t feel bad. This is a major red flag that he is staying out of pity.

Life with them is monotonous

Your life together seems like one long, boring prison sentence. You both no longer go on dates or even to parties. You both have no mutual friend’s circle. You both got into a relationship since you guys were vulnerable, but now it’s gone south. He still stays, though, afraid you won’t be able to handle the breakup.

He feels that you won’t find anyone else

Another sign he is still in this relationship out of pity is that he tells you subtly. He is dropping hints all the time. It may be a snarky remark during a conversation or a random rant. It’s better to get out of this relationship if things get too toxic. You both will be happier going your separate ways.


Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. But if you have doubts about your relationship and his feelings, it gets painful. The spark may have fizzled out as life has become hectic. In such cases, you can always talk to each other and work things out. But what if they are in it, just for the money or sex? Or maybe they don’t want to leave you alone out of pity for you? The above sections can give you a clearer idea of your situation. And if it gets confirmed, it is better to break up and part ways rather than stay together and let your relationship fester with time. Who knows, you both may even find better partners once you have moved on.

Read More: How Do I Tell If He Loves Me? 10 True Signs He Loves You

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